Self-sabotage is when a person hinders their own success. Often people are not even aware that they are self-sabotaging, since these behaviors can be unconscious. For example, an individual that spends their free time only playing video games, rather than finding employment or improving a skill. Self-sabotaging does not always come in the form of behaviors either, at times just a simple negative thought such as “I will never be good enough”, or “nothing good will ever happen”, can lead people to stop trying to improve their circumstances.
Our childhood can be precursors to these types of thoughts and behaviors. Imagine growing up in a household where you were constantly told that you would never accomplish anything. In a less direct manner, growing up with parents that had low self-esteem. How would this impact the way you think about yourself? Another common example of self-sabotaging is in our relationships. Going from one partner that did not appreciate you or treat you with respect, and then taking those emotional scars with you to the next relationship and hindering it before you can give the new person a real chance.
Common Ways People Self-sabotage
- Procrastinating: Pushing off new goals until you are “ready”. This is a way to never feel disappointed, or fail, because you are always in the ‘process’ of completing goals.
- Self–medication: This can come in the form of drugs and alcohol.
- Perfectionism: Holding yourself to a perfect standard that you are unable to meet, which then leads to people feeling depressed, procrastinating and self-medicating, and also leads to people quitting on their goals.
